Four topics I will never, ever tire of
Pretty often, people outside of newspapers wonder how the assignment process works in the newsroom. “Does your editor tell you what to write? Or what?”
Well, no. The editors do sometimes alert us to stories, but part of being a good reporter is having a supply of stories you plan to do this week, next week and in the foreseeable but not immediate future. We keep what’s called 10 Plans, which ideally have what you are doing every day this week and next week (Get it? 5+5 business days = 10!)
I was really, really, really bad at keeping up on my 10 Plan. Really awful. We’re supposed to update them every day, but once every six weeks, my editor would plaintively ask, “Hey. Hey, Kelly? I need you to update your 10 Plan.” I’d apologize and feel so super guilty, but then someone would send me a link to a video of a jerky baby goat and I’d forget all about the 10 Plan. Two hours later, my editor would put on her Business Face and say, “HEY. Remember two hours ago when I asked you to do your 10 Plan?” and I’d apologize 14 more times and make it perfect, Then promptly forget for about it the next six weeks. Wash, rinse, repeat.
But on the rare occasions when it was updated, there were always some common threads. There are certain things that I am completely obsessed with, and never, ever tire of. I tend to eschew action and drama, being more interested in quirky people and Americana and things having to do with state fair. If it were up to me, the newspaper would essentially be a Christopher Guest mockmentary, except real, and these would be the four sections:
Well, no. The editors do sometimes alert us to stories, but part of being a good reporter is having a supply of stories you plan to do this week, next week and in the foreseeable but not immediate future. We keep what’s called 10 Plans, which ideally have what you are doing every day this week and next week (Get it? 5+5 business days = 10!)
I was really, really, really bad at keeping up on my 10 Plan. Really awful. We’re supposed to update them every day, but once every six weeks, my editor would plaintively ask, “Hey. Hey, Kelly? I need you to update your 10 Plan.” I’d apologize and feel so super guilty, but then someone would send me a link to a video of a jerky baby goat and I’d forget all about the 10 Plan. Two hours later, my editor would put on her Business Face and say, “HEY. Remember two hours ago when I asked you to do your 10 Plan?” and I’d apologize 14 more times and make it perfect, Then promptly forget for about it the next six weeks. Wash, rinse, repeat.
But on the rare occasions when it was updated, there were always some common threads. There are certain things that I am completely obsessed with, and never, ever tire of. I tend to eschew action and drama, being more interested in quirky people and Americana and things having to do with state fair. If it were up to me, the newspaper would essentially be a Christopher Guest mockmentary, except real, and these would be the four sections:
Current A Section: Front, with the biggest local, national and international news headlines
Proposed A Section: Animals! Particularly baby and/or cute ones
Center story: Baby alpacas are called crias! Let’s look at some!
Columns: Dogs! Aren’t they the best?; Duckling Watch
Recurring features: K. Williams Brown holds baby animals at the zoo; cats dressed as historical figures.
Current B Section: Sports, with updates from area high school and colleges, plus national and Olympic coverage
Proposed B Section: Extracurriculars that high schoolers are very invested in that are not sports
Center story: Marching bands! Those kids are working hard.
Columns: Regular updates from the debate team, FFA, Future Business Leaders of America, and dance team. Even though that last one is, in fact, a sport, I don’t count it as such because I actually enjoy watching dance teams
Recurring feature: Anything that highlights the activities young people do that will legitimately be useful in the future.
Current C Section: Mid-Valley, with local stories and columnists
Proposed C Section: Rodeo queens, small town festival courts and dairy princesses
Center story: This year’s Pendleton Round-Up queens show off their horsemanship knowledge, barrel racing abilities, and cowboy hat tiaras. Because rodeo queens wear cowboy hat tiaras.
Columns: A Day in the Life of a Dairy Princess; Jefferson Mint Festival and Frog Jump court discusses issues of the day
Recurring feature: A certain redheaded reporter follows around the royalty, dazed and joyful
Current D Section: Life
Proposed D Section: Eccentric people who have reached the age where they no longer care what others think of them
Center story: Exclusive: Why this man decided to collect 10,000 marionettes
Columns: Dispatches from cloggers, square dancers, historical reënactors and people who pan for gold
Recurring feature: Map of metal-detecting hotspots; coupons for wigs
Proposed A Section: Animals! Particularly baby and/or cute ones
Center story: Baby alpacas are called crias! Let’s look at some!
Columns: Dogs! Aren’t they the best?; Duckling Watch
Recurring features: K. Williams Brown holds baby animals at the zoo; cats dressed as historical figures.
Current B Section: Sports, with updates from area high school and colleges, plus national and Olympic coverage
Proposed B Section: Extracurriculars that high schoolers are very invested in that are not sports
Center story: Marching bands! Those kids are working hard.
Columns: Regular updates from the debate team, FFA, Future Business Leaders of America, and dance team. Even though that last one is, in fact, a sport, I don’t count it as such because I actually enjoy watching dance teams
Recurring feature: Anything that highlights the activities young people do that will legitimately be useful in the future.
Current C Section: Mid-Valley, with local stories and columnists
Proposed C Section: Rodeo queens, small town festival courts and dairy princesses
Center story: This year’s Pendleton Round-Up queens show off their horsemanship knowledge, barrel racing abilities, and cowboy hat tiaras. Because rodeo queens wear cowboy hat tiaras.
Columns: A Day in the Life of a Dairy Princess; Jefferson Mint Festival and Frog Jump court discusses issues of the day
Recurring feature: A certain redheaded reporter follows around the royalty, dazed and joyful
Current D Section: Life
Proposed D Section: Eccentric people who have reached the age where they no longer care what others think of them
Center story: Exclusive: Why this man decided to collect 10,000 marionettes
Columns: Dispatches from cloggers, square dancers, historical reënactors and people who pan for gold
Recurring feature: Map of metal-detecting hotspots; coupons for wigs